Desire and Fear
by erbkaiser
Summary: On my way to a place where people are confronted with their fears, I think about hopes, dreams, desires instead. / Quidditch Fan League submission for round 8.


A/N: Written for Round 8 of the Quidditch Fan League

Team: **Montrose Magpies**

Position: **Beater 2**. I had to write something fluffy. Involving a Dementor o_O.

Prompts used: **4** (quote) "Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure." ― Marianne Williamson, _A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of "A Course in Miracles"_ / **14** (word) demon

* * *

_Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended._

* * *

**Desire and Fear**

Albus told me all the way back in first year, "The happiest man on earth would be able to use the Mirror of Erised like a normal mirror, that is, he would look into it and see himself exactly as he is."

At the time I never gave that much thought but I've come to think he was right. Even if he did lie to me about seeing socks – with the knowledge I have now I realise he probably saw his mother and sister, and probably Aberforth too, all of them healthy and happy together. But it was presumptuous of the eleven-year old me to ask him to share such a private detail. After all we didn't become that close until much later.

I do not know what ever happened to that mirror, it disappeared after my first year and was not among the Headmaster's possessions listed in his will. Perhaps it is still hidden in Hogwarts somewhere, who knows? Maybe my kids will find it one day. Hopefully they will be inspired by it like I was, at the end.

I wouldn't mind taking a look in it myself again one of these days, to be honest. I am happily married, have three adorable children and there may be more on the way, and I am a well respected Auror on his way to the Head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement. Tom has been dead and gone for over a decade, and his followers are all either dead or imprisoned for life, or, in a few cases, have actually redeemed themselves. Even Draco turned out to be a decent person, no doubt thanks to Astoria's influence. She got him over the whole blood purity nonsense and now their boy even goes on play dates with my kids. Never thought I'd say it, but Draco and I are actually kind of friends. I would've told you you're crazy if you suggested that would ever be possible back in our school days.

So, what _would_ I see today in the Mirror? I don't know, really. I would _like_ to get another promotion, but it's not as if I'm not happy where I am. And my family life is perfect. Perhaps, it would still show me my parents, or some of the people we lost in the war?

Yes, that's possible, but I have made my peace with that. It's good to be me.

Why am I thinking about the mirror in the first place, you might ask? Well, desires and fears are closely matched, I believe.

You see, I was chatting with Luna the other day and she brought up a book she recently read by some Muggle named Marianne Williamson. Luna has grounded herself some since marriage, and is now all about self help, which is how she found that book. She gave me this wonderful quote: "Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure."

I wondered if that was true. If I to go to Azkaban and encounter a Dementor, would the demon not bring up the shade of Voldemort, or the little boy cowering in the cupboard, but an image of myself as the most powerful person imaginable? I talked it over with her, and she felt I was being silly, that I had nothing to fear.

Merlin, I love Luna, she can always make me smile. It used to be because of her silly animals that may or may not exist – although, did you hear, she actually found a Crumplehorned Snorkack in Sweden? Turned out, nobody ever found them because they have a natural notice-me-not field. Don't ask me how, but she managed to lure one close, and it bonded to her. The moment it did, it was very noticeable indeed.

Everyone was highly surprised to suddenly see the odd animal walking along with her in the middle of Diagon Alley, on her way to the Quibbler's office. But that's Luna for you. Even Hermione now accepts the _possibility_ of nargles existing at least.

But I'm stalling, it's time. I'll keep Luna's quote in my head, maybe it really helps me deal with the Dementors.

… huh.

Wow, it actually works. Roger, my colleague, is shivering a bit, but I let the demon's gaze pass over me. It's as if it's not even there. Maybe I will call up Prongs though, Roger looks like he needs it. And he's not the only one, there comes the person we've come to collect.

Lucius Malfoy looks well, considering he spent ten years behind bars with Dementors for guards. Is that... a smile on his face? Why is he smiling at me? Oh, silly me. Of course. I forgot Draco and Narcissa were standing outside the gates, Lucius must be happy to see them.

There, papers signed, Lucius Malfoy is a free man. I hand him his wand back and we shake hands. He mumbles 'thank you', I think, but I don't want to hold him up. His family is waiting for him. There, the three Malfoys hug, and Narcissa is crying. Looks like happy tears.

Roger and I escort them back to the mainland, and I wave Draco off. No doubt Astoria is waiting with Scorpius, the youngest Malfoy will be happy to see his grandfather for the first time. If I go by how happy Lucius seemed to see his wife and son, I believe the reports he is indeed a changed man.

As for me, I will finish the paperwork now, then pick up some flowers and apparate home to my own loving family.

Everything is well.


End file.
